That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Randomize
