she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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