It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
