I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
