Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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