If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
