I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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