Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
