If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
