We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
