After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
