yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
