Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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