I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
