I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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