when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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