Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
