I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize