why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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