I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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