Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
