ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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