So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
