I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
