I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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