the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
