So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
