yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
