I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
