Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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