Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i believe in u and ur pee
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
