Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
