just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
