He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
