Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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