Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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