it's too hot outside to masturbate.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
