This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
