Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Still dying that you shit outside
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
