the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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