he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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