i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
