I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
