Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
