thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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