I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
