Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
