our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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