I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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