and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
