There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
