Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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